I’ve realized, that, in my life, much of my creative energy has been spent trying to be worshipped. I don’t mean to say I thought I was a god, or wanted other people to think I was a god, but I certainly wanted other people to be impressed. In part, this is an identity issue we grapple with in our youth. We want to be creators, and we want to be good, and we need somebody outside ourselves to tell us we are good. That’s how we work, internally. No creator can stand in front of the mirror and say they are good and believe it. Humans are designed so that somebody outside themselves tells them who they are.
Jesus, who created the world (all things were made in Him) and is going to create a new place for us, was still “named” by the Father. Christ’s confidence, or I should say His “knowing” who He was, came from God. In John 5 we see “as the Father has life in Himself, so He has granted the Son also to have life in Himself” and jesus says “I can do nothing on my own” and “I seek not my own will but the will of Him who sent me.”
I found that doing my work in order to be thought of as a great creator was not fulfilling, at least not for long. I’d read a review and within hours doubt myself again. More and more, I am seeing the beauty of being sent, of my work not being about me, but about Him who sent me. Being sent is about stepping off the emotional roller coaster we must ride when life is about us. If our lives are not about us, then it matters much less to us whether we are honored or praised or criticized and rejected.
And what is Christ sent to do? He says “I say these things that you might be saved.”
If we are sent, we speak something true and beautiful in the world, something people will cling to, something that will threaten the false religions, even false Christian piety.
Do you feel sent as a creator? Do you want to be sent? What might it feel like to be sent for a greater cause? What is the cause or meaning of your current work? What are you afraid of if you decide to be sent from God? Are you afraid your work will be cheesy? Are you afraid you will be ridiculed? Who are the great creators who have been sent who rose above trite artistic messaging? Rembrandt? Michelangelo? Handel? Perhaps there is a place for you amongst the sent.