I Don’t Worship God by Singing. I Connect With Him Elsewhere.

I’ve a confession. I don’t connect with God by singing to Him. Not at all.

I know I’m nearly alone in this but it’s true. I was finally able to admit this recently when I attended a church service that had, perhaps, the most talented worship team I’ve ever heard. I loved the music. But I loved it more for the music than the worship. As far as connecting with God goes, I wasn’t feeling much of anything.

I used to feel guilty about this but to be honest, I experience an intimacy with God I consider strong and healthy.

It’s just that I don’t experience that intimacy in a traditional worship service. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of sermons I actually remember. So to be brutally honest, I don’t learn much about God hearing a sermon and I don’t connect with him by singing songs to him. So, like most men, a traditional church service can be somewhat long and difficult to get through.

*Photo Credit: Oleh Slobodeniuk, Creative Commons

I’m fine with this, though. I’ve studied psychology and education reform long enough to know a traditional lecture isn’t for everybody. There’s an entire demographic of people who have to learn by doing, not by hearing. So you can lecture to them all day and they’re simply not going to get it.

Research suggest there are three learning styles, auditory (hearing) visual (seeing) and kinesthetic (doing) and I’m a kinesthetic learner. Of course churches have all kinds of ways for you to engage God including many kinesthetic opportunities including mission trips and so forth, but if you want to attend a “service” every Sunday, you best be an auditory learner. There’s not much out there for kinesthetic or visual learners.

Interestingly, I learn a great deal by teaching, which is interesting to me.

I learn by doing the very thing I don’t learn by hearing! My guess is because teaching is a kinesthetic discipline rather than an auditory discipline. But that’s a side note. Here’s the real question:

How do I find intimacy with God if not through a traditional church model?

The answer came to me recently and it was a freeing revelation. I connect with God by working. I literally feel an intimacy with God when I build my company. I know it sounds crazy, but I believe God gave me my mission and my team and I feel closest to him when I’ve got my hand on the plow. It’s thrilling and I couldn’t be more grateful he’s given me an outlet through which I can both serve and connect with him.

My friend Bob Goff says when we study somebody without getting to know them, it’s called stalking. Bob says Jesus is getting creeped out that we keep stalking him. He’d like us to bond with him in the doing.

So, do I attend church? Not often, to be honest.

Like I said, it’s not how I learn.

But I also believe the church is all around us, not to be confined by a specific tribe. (tweet this)

I’m fine with where I’ve landed and finally experiencing some forward momentum in my faith. I worship God every day through my work. It’s a blast.

So are you an auditory, visual or kinesthetic learner? And if visual or kinesthetic, how do you connect with God?

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Donald Miller

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Joseph Mwangi Macharia

Thanks Donald. I feel the same way. There are many ways to connect with good. It is lovely that you have found yours. I connect with Him when I am doing a good or philanthropic thing for somebody else who cannot repay me. I feel properly connected when I see the immeasurable and priceless joy in the eyes and actions of the recipient. Did Jesus not say that He will ask “what we did to that person who did not have food to eat,or that person who was in jail but had no one to visit him?”
Jesse Anthony

I find it interesting that when a professed Christian shares that he has been able to carry the message of the gospel with him beyond the church walls and experience and worship God within the world, that there is such upheaval.
If I can make a few points and ask a few questions in hopes to bring neutral ground:

1. ——————-The argument between meeting —————–
—————in a “Local Church” and meeting elsewhere ———-
I do think there is something real about community and gathering for a purpose. I believe this is more in our make up as God’s people than it is contingent on logistical scenarios.
EX: The church that starts in a living room and moves to a school or business building in a plaza has not worshipped differently or experienced God differently because of the location. The people and their intentions to pursue God excite (as opposed to mourn) the Spirit. Their focus was to start a church. And anyone who has started a church knows, you are starting a business as far as the world cares. With tax forms and name registration and meeting various codes and conditions.

–>It seems odd that God would only “allow” his presence and all of the other things that come with being a Christian to Christians that do it a certain way (Im not talking about Theology here I’m talking logistics.) and only grant a pass to those who are unable or in the process of making a church.
The difference, therefore, would be A.) the building and B.) the process/format. Otherwise what do we make about people who are in oppressed nations and worshipping without a full Bible or church, have no preacher to preach and no building? We can make the argument that finding God in the less likely places has more profound effects.

————————What does it mean to meet? ———————–
Does there need to be 2 or more? Does it have to be around the Bible and if so what parts?

There is absolutely value in church, it is great to have a place to go and make friends and grow with no problem. Few other things are like that in life. The hope has always been that living as a christian become the norm That neighbors no longer need to preach but the law be in their heart.
Psychologists even say that your community will influence you. So wouldnt it be better to experience Sunday Koinonia Mon-Fri? Arguably, most Christians do not act like Christians in the workplace let alone at home.
For someone to say that they have a job that they can worship God through and a community of people are in support of that is tremendous. How many people make a business as a known christian influencer and cary those principals into their job, website, and public image. Not many. IT seems to be all or none. Most will turn their product and its messaging into a Christian-specific product, which leaves no room for conversation or invitation to hearing truth but a “take it or leave it” attitude. Remember people flocked to Jesus. If people aren’t attracted to the message you’re giving test it and reevaluate it, because you might be tainting it. Most who are “offended” by the message are the legalistic christians, the Pharisees that Jesus provoked.

What does it look like for someone who owns a marketing business to minister to the world? It kinds looks like someone who would put a blog on his webpage and profess his belief to millions of people and people who are in powerful positions might I add.

He did not say that they don’t meet or discuss the bible. He is around teachings and teachers within his community (if you follow his books and other projects)
not only professes themselves to be a Christian, but has influenced millions in seeing church and Christ differently (arguably creating a sub-genre of christian books that helped propel church and make the methods culturally relevant
Marsha L F Randolph

I recently posted on FB that I do not encourage people to “go to church” just to go to church and a few “church leaders” all but sent me to hell. This began my research on Church in Biblical times. I happened on one Blogpost that stated how the author disagreed with you, so I linked to your post that responded to a few comments which lead me to this post which I believe is the original post.
The Pastor of the church I attend when I do go does not have a problem with my opinion.
As a Bible Teacher, I can tell you: There are many people who have attended church faithfully for decades that do not have a personal relationship with God.
Now I listen to Jesse Lee Peterson whose Sunday Church (see BOND: Rebuilding the Man on YouTube) Service is nothing like anything I have seen in my 58 years but I believe is what was happening in biblical times and why the Apostle said: Let the women keep silent and ask their husbands at home.
I firmly believe Church is for learning not just gathering with a bunch of people you may or may not talk to.
Love

I wholeheartedly agree with what you’ve said. I have a Masters in Theology and an Masters of Divinity in Evangelism. I dislike attending church but rather enjoy listening to sermons on my own and attending conferences of my choosing. I do not find fellowship in sitting next to others on a pew or in shaking someone’s hand to say hello. I have tried and tried to enjoy traditional church but am not a fan. I believe one’s relationship with God is personal. I do believe that we must become engaged in discipleship through relationships with others but I believe that occurs in everyday application as a believer matures in spiritual formation. I love that I can choose a devotional plan on my Bible Gateway app. I love my Joyce Meyer app and listening to other sermons on YouTube but what I do not like is someone telling me that because I am Christian that I must attend church. Frankly, I find church boring and find that I seldom get fed through the experience. I, like you, do not find closeness to God in singing. I find closeness through personal experience in prayer and prayer for others. I love God with all of my heart and know I have been called to serve but not in a church. I appreciate your honesty as I have been chastised for my opinion on church as well especially throughout my time in seminary.
Donald Bate

What an excellent post.. thank you for sharing! I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. As for me, after a lifetime of regular weekly church attendance I finally “saw the light” 5 years ago and stopped going to church completely. I realised that most (yes, most) institutional churches are not Christian, they are Paulian. That is, they follow Paul’s doctrines and his (often contradictory) teachings at the expense of obeying Christ’s teachings. Consequently, the Great Commission is just a stagnant verse to the majority of church goers, who remain blindly unresponsive to it. (I should know.. I used to be one of them!). I asked myself: where are the present-day disciples, that Jesus commanded us to make? I struggle to find, anywhere, a group of people proactively, consistently and purposefully being disciplined to obey Christ’s teachings.. the very thing He said to do (Matthew 28:20). Rather, I see a lot of people devoted to attending church services with all its rhetoric, traditions or entertainment.. yet without actually putting Jesus’s words into practice. He said a practical application of His teachings is crucial if we are to stand before Him and be worthy of entry into the Kingdom like a “wise builder” (Matthew 7:21-27).

And so, because of all of the above, and also because of rampant sin in the churches which I won’t divulge here, I made the quality decision to disassociate myself from “the system” and pursue a simple lifestyle of daily obedience to Jesus.. the One to whom I will be answerable to on the Day of the Lord. Importantly, I believe the Lord is Jesus, not Paul (or anyone else for that matter). So the bottom line is.. to whom are we responding? Our eternity depends on it.

I think Jesus loves you and very much approves your kinesthetics!