Most of us are 90% known, even by our most intimate companions. We live in a fear that if people really know about that one thing, or this one character flaw, they won’t love or respect us. And to some degree this is true. There really are people out there looking for the flaws in others so they can pounce. But the reality is this:
Most people aren’t that way.
The overwhelming majority of people in the world may be broken, but they’re safe. And by safe, I mean you can trust them with your flaws.
What suffers when we fail to let ourselves be known is our emotional health. Being accepted as we are by others, without conditions, is the stuff that feeds our souls. And when we hide ourselves, we remove these nutrients from our relationships.
Our souls begin to atrophy.
The reality is people who allow themselves to be known are often even more respected than those who don’t. It’s as though they’ve learned to lose a thousand battles to win the war. In the end, we trust and are comforted by those who are brave enough to be known.
My friend Glennon Melton is like this. She recently told the story of an interview she did in which she was asked what her favorite movie was. She could have said Schindler’s List or Shawshank Redemption, just to fit in and be perceived as sophisticated, but none of those movies were her favorite.
Her favorite movie was Elf.
And she said it. And she and the host of the interview laughed, and that is precisely why people love her so much. She’s willing to be herself. To be known. And so her soul gets fed.
One of the things I want to do more of in 2015 is to allow myself to be more known.
Don’s new book about getting Scary Close is now available. You can order it now on Amazon, or you can order one from Barnes & Noble. Also, be sure to head over to www.scaryclose.com to download a free soundtrack featuring Ben Rector, Jon Foreman, Andrew Belle and others.