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Don’t Strive to Be Someone You’re Not

Andrea Lucado

by Andrea Lucado

Growing up, I wanted to be just like my big sister Jenna. Jenna has one of the best personalities of anyone I know. She’s fun, kind, energetic, handles the spotlight beautifully and at the same time she’s humble and genuinely curious about others’ lives. Jenna was prom queen and homecoming queen in high school for these very reasons. She hates that I just told you that.

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Even in high school I remember she received those crowns with a subtle eye roll. Jenna is awesome because she doesn’t need accolades and crowns to tell her so.

Though I wanted to be:

I was not just like Jenna in high school.

I had friends. I liked my life at school and am fortunate to have walked away from those adolescent years with an overall good experience. But I realized in that time that my personality was not identical to Jenna’s like I wanted it to be.

People would tell me often that I was quiet. This upset me. I was not quiet, I would tell them. They just didn’t know me well enough. I thought being quiet was a negative character trait and I was embarrassed this was the impression I was giving people. I didn’t want to have a reputation of a quiet girl. I wanted Jenna’s reputation. How was I going to be homecoming queen if I didn’t?

It took years of fighting people on this aspect of my personality before surrendering to it. In college, enough people had described me as quiet that I began to admit it to myself.

I was often quiet.

I didn’t speak up much in class. I liked riding in the car in silence, which irritated many of my friends. I liked to read and write and be by myself more than the average college student. I loved people and meeting new ones and going to things, but I was never the life of the party and would not have felt comfortable if I was.

Sometimes people give us labels.

They can be cruel and hurtful and inaccurate, and we need to go to counseling in adulthood to work through it. And other times, people give us labels that are not bad or anywhere near inaccurate yet we resist them because we have a vision of who we think we should be.

If the well-meaning people in your life are consistently describing you in a certain way, don’t dismiss it. Take it into consideration, whether this description is, in your opinion, positive or negative.

When I began accepting my quiet self, I began to experience freedom. If being quiet was true about me, I didn’t have to force myself to be louder than what felt natural. I didn’t have to try to be more fun at parties when I didn’t know how to be. I could start to discover who I truly was, quiet parts and all.

Life was more enjoyable.

I was less anxious and I was easier on myself, rather than being hard on myself for not speaking up more.

I was never homecoming queen or prom queen. I think I won a participation award in my Latin class once, but I never received that reputation I thought I wanted, the one I thought I needed. Now, I know that that’s ok. It’s better to be who you are than to strive to be who you think should be.

And years later, I still look up to Jenna and want to be just like her, but I want to be just like me too.

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Andrea Lucado

Andrea Lucado

Andrea Lucado is a freelance writer and Texas native who now calls Nashville, Tennessee, home. When she is not conducting interviews or writing stories, you can find her laughing with friends at a coffee shop, running the hills of Nashville or creating yet another nearly edible baking creation in her kitchen. One of these days she'll get the recipe right. Follow her on Twitter (@andrealucado) and Instagram, @andrealucado, or on her blog at AndreaLucado.com.

  • Holly Loftin

    I recently had a breast cancer scare being called back in for a few more tests. My initial results were abnormal but the second set of tests were diagnosed as normal for me. So, I told my family that I was cancer free and “abnormally normal” to which my 18 year old daughter replied ” that’s about right”. She’s brutally honest and I love her for it. I wear this label with honor!

  • patriciastrefling

    I was the quiet one, too…now I talk too much, or at least I thought so…until one person or another said that something I said (in my much-talking) touched their heart. I ask God to please use me in my weakness…or perhaps His strength in my weakness. God bless you for sharing Andrea.

  • Deanna Rondero

    You make a really good point about stopping to question the labels that people put on us. Questioning whether they are a bad label or not is huge as well. In this case, people did not like that you were quiet but there was nothing wrong with that. Often people get uncomfortable with certain personality traits because they are not used to them. Sometimes, it is a direct indicator of how they feel about themselves. I have often been told that I am too sensitive or emotional. I got to a point where I told myself, yes I am and that is okay. I have to be able to handle my emotions properly in the right places but I have accepted that I am a sensitive person. I have learned to love that about myself. It has enabled me to have empathy and really care for others. Looking into what others tell you about yourself can really be difficult because often there are comparisons being made. Comparing ourselves to a standard that has been given to us is a dangerous thing. I have often thought about it as an affront to God. God wants us to be who he created us to be. That usually does not fit into the standard that society has given to us.

  • Annette Moore

    I’m 53 years old and finally decided to embrace the fact that I’m not normal. Never have been. And that’s the story God put me in – not a “normal” story. I’ve never been comfortable with who I am – in part because I was surrounded by people who were harmful and hurtful and communicated how defective I was at every turn. I am trying to disavow those labels (hard) and embrace what others tell me about myself (harder). I am trying to learn be OK with me. It’s never too late, right?

    • Deanna Rondero

      It is never too late. It is fantastic that you have been able to identify what has been harmful and the good that what others tell you. Listen to the good, that is the voice of God speaking to you.

  • Cathy McClaugherty

    I have always been just the opposite. Family and friends have called me Chatty Cathy all my life. Thankfully God gave us different talents and personalities. I am working on talking less and listening more. Shy is not a bad quality. It is very humbling.

  • Gregory Schott

    We are to be like Christ…..be ye perfect…..scripture

  • janet page

    Love this, Andrea. You shine, sweetie!
    Bless you for being who God made you to be.

  • Jeffrey Dowling

    How to Get your Lover Back after a Divorce or Breakup

    Hello to every one out here, am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me three days ago, My name is Jeffrey Dowling,i live in Texas,USA.and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same Website: http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com} Thanks for reading.

  • Jeffrey Dowling

    TESTIMONY OF HOW I GOT MY LOVER BACK AFTER A DIVORCE

    An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is Natasha Johnson,i live in ENGLAND, UNITED KINGDOM,and I’m happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn’t love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn’t call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website { http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr Brave for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. {bravespellcaster@gmail.com }, Thanks..,,

  • Robin laura

    I have been in great bondage for about 4 years
    suffering in the hands of a cheating husband. We were living happily
    until he meant his old time girl friend and he started dating her again
    outside our marriage and before i knew it he stopped caring for his own
    family, to the extent that he was planning to marry her and divorce me. I
    cried and reported him to his family members but he never listened to
    anyone and to cut the story short, i came in search for a real spell
    caster who could destroy their relationship and make him come back to me
    and our 2 kids again; on my search i saw people sharing testimony on
    how their marriage was restored by Dr. Eze Malaka and i pick his email
    and told him the problem that i was going through, and he agreed to help
    me and told me never to worry. After he had finished casting the spell,
    on the second day, they both had a quarrel and he beat up his
    girlfriend and he came back home begging me to forgive him that his eyes
    are clear now that he will never do any thing that will hurt his family
    again and promise to be a caring father and never to cheat on me again.
    I am so happy that i did not lose him to the girl and all appreciation
    goes to Dr. Eze Malaka for his great work. You are a Great spell caster
    and to you all that are faced with this or similar problem to this,
    please contact him now on extremewhitelovespell@yahoo. com or his WEBSITE ADDRESS is http://extremewhitelovespell.webs.com once again thank you Dr. thank you, thank you.

  • Mitzi Keith

    My deepest secret turned against me after my husband discovered I was seeing my boss. Though it’s a shameful act, but I was afraid my boss would fire me if I resist. I really wanted to stay in the job because my husband was not working and my boss increased my pay because of our secret affairs. I thought I was doing our family good, until my husband found out through my colleague, he was broken at that moment and vowed never to see me again. My senses came back, I quitted the job, I was ashamed of myself, I became suicidal, and I started doing drugs in order to forget my past.
    Few days after the divorce papers were served, I email Dr. Wakina via (dr.wakinalovetemple@gmail.com) After reading some overwhelming reviews about his bring lover back spell, I explained everything to him and pleaded to make me change, to adore only my husband and make my husband forgive and forget every evil I have done to him and forget about divorce. It took Dr. Wakina two days to cast the spell, my husband came back five days after the spell. I couldn’t believe my eyes, he totally forgave me and agreed to start afresh with me, he then appreciated Dr. Wakina for his help and promised not to divorce. I am so happy for our new beginning, we have a new job and a new apartment. For over seven months, things has been working. I was blessed since the day I found Dr. Wakina’s email: (dr.wakinalovetemple@gmail.com)

  • Collins Morgan

    THANKS TO THE GREAT DR GODFATHER INDEED YOU ARE ABOVE TRUST AS THEY REALLY SAY, Am Collins Morgan from New York City, Am here to share an Amazing testimony about how Dr Godfather just recently helped me in Getting my wife back to me, that was something that i couldn’t imagine will be so easy. I’ve known Sophia for years, When we finally got married things were so weird so we broke up in February 2011.In June 2012, she and I recently got back together and we were together until march 2013 when she started with some strange behavior later on she wasn’t sleeping home. so one day she went out and did not return and ever since she left i haven’t set eyes on her ever again and she couldn’t give birth ever since i got married to her. During that time my mind was completely at a state of unrest, I wasn’t eating, neither was i sleeping,because i love her so much that am willing to do anything to make her happy and be with her forever undermining our situation, I cried,I was so depressed and stressed out and was almost frustrated and was even planning to end it all. so one day i came across an aid were Victoria pope was shearing her testimony how a great spell caster that is above trust called Dr Godfather helped him and i love and care about her deeply that i just want her to come back because heavens knows how much i love her so i contacted him reluctantly. I never used to believe in spell casting but i gave it a try and it was a positive result. Today we are happily married and blessed by his Amazing powers with two wonderful kids. To you all out there no matter what you facing similar to this this or not but just have this in mind that there is nothing imposable that Dr Godfather can not be made possible why because his Gifted. Once again thanks to My educated Dr Godfather with a Certificate Award. you can contact Dr. via his email address godfatherlovespelltemple@hotmail.com once again thank you Dr. Godfather for your Amazing Great Works.


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