We spend so much time in our lives waiting for the perfect set of circumstances to be happy—the perfect job or the perfect guy, or to get a check in the mail or be invited on some amazing vacation.
We spend time scrolling through Instagram, thinking about how, if only we had this thing, or went to that place, life would be so amazing.
All along, most of us are missing it—how great life is right this minute.
How the only moment we have is this one, right now, and we are wasting it.
A few months ago, when I was in the middle of a separation from my husband and inevitable divorce, I was spending a lot of time on the phone. This was partly, of course, because being alone in my very quiet house was not an option for my fragile heart. And partly because pretty much everyone I knew wanted to know what had happened and if I was okay.
One of the many conversations I had was with my Aunt Vicki.
Vicki lives in another state from me, and has for most of my life, so I haven’t spent as much time with her as I wish I had. But being on the phone with her, I felt and instant and special kind of understanding from her.
She had also been through a divorce in her 30’s.
She didn’t make me recount the entire story to her. She just listened and asked how I was doing and I told her about how I had taken up yoga and was trying to take good care of myself. I said I was focusing on eating three meals a day, spending time with friends, and how I was also crying myself to sleep most nights.
She hummed knowingly on the other end of the line.
Then she said something that I have not forgotten—and probably never will. She said, “what an incredible time to be Ally.”
The whole thing sounded so absurd to me, as I blubbered on my end of the line. I couldn’t help but laugh a little. Actually, it was more like a laugh-cry-sob thing. I remember thinking: are you serious? You’ve got to be joking… but she persisted. She said it was going to be hard for me to see it right that minute, but that she could see it from where she stood.
There was so much light, and so much hope, and so much possibility coming toward me, and that it all originated in this moment.
This is where it begins. This is where it is happening. My life was was not on hold. This was not some kind of elaborate detour. This was my life and it was miraculous.
It is miraculous.
As I hung up the phone, I couldn’t get that phrase off of my mind.
“What an incredible time to be Ally.”
Marianne Williamson says that the difference between an ordinary moment and a miracle is a change in perspective.
Sometimes the only difference between feeling sorry for ourselves and realizing the entire universe is at our fingertips, and that life is happening for us and with us, is just changing the angle from which we view it.
It’s just changing our perspective.
Changing perspective doesn’t require that we deny how truly sad or terrified or overwhelmed we feel. It’s yes, and. Yes, I’m terrified and it’s an incredible time to be Ally. Yes, I’m heartbroken, and I’m finding myself for perhaps the first time. Amazing. Miraculous. Incredible. What an incredible time to be Ally.
What an incredible time to be you.
What are you waiting for to decide that your life is worth living? What would have to happen of you to decide that your life is miraculously unfolding, right this minute? Are you waiting for something to happen to make your life feel worth living? Are you waiting for a marriage? A baby? A relationship to come together?
A job? A paycheck? A car? A house?
What if you could stop waiting? What if now is the most amazing time in all of human history to be you?
What if, in waiting for these things to change—in wishing for them to be different than they already are—you are wasting the only real gift you have been given: the gift of being alive and breathing and creating the life you desire to live right this minute. What if right now is an incredible time to be alive and to be you?
How would that perspective take this oh-so-ordinary moment and make it truly miraculous?