I’ve never been very good at making decisions. I envy my friends who are confident and decisive and who make a choice and own it, all the way to the end. For me, that’s hard. To be frank, even the smallest decisions are a challenge for me. Recently I was speaking at a conference and […]
I was talking to a friend awhile back about the power of our thoughts and how they are busy creating our reality. The conversation came up because she caught me in long train of negative comments about a situation in my life that was both less than ideal and also mostly out of my control. […]
For most of my life, I prided myself on being relatively low maintenance. I was always more likely to go camping than shopping, hated the idea of asking for help (especially if it meant playing the “damsel in distress”), and tried to be the kind of person who never needed too much of anything from anyone.
I thought this made me the best kind of friend, sister, daughter and even girlfriend anyone could ever ask for. I was so easy to be around, I thought […]
Recently, my older brother was in a bike accident. He wasn’t going to tell me about it (he hates to draw attention to himself or make a big deal out of things) but I heard the story from someone else and, of course, had a thousand questions. What happened? Are you okay? Were you wearing a helmet?
He was fine, he said. It wasn’t that big of a deal. But I kept pressing him to tell me the rest of the story, until finally he did.
My dishwasher broke recently. The stopper on one of the tracks just broke off, so now if you pull that top rack all the way out, the whole thing just sort of falls. It happened about seven days ago at the time I’m writing this, but I don’t really think about it that much anymore, […]
From the time I was four until I was seven-years-old I was sexually abused on a consistent basis by someone I trusted.
So before I was even old enough to understand what forgiveness was, I had already decided I didn’t want anything to do with it. I wasn’t trying to be mean-spirited (I was seven). It was just my very natural coping mechanism. I would hide what happened and twist it and lie about it if I needed to, but I wasn’t going to tell anyone. And I wasn’t going to […]
When I graduated high school, a friend said something to me I’ll never forget. She said, “Ally, you’re so nice. You might be the nicest person I know. I’ve never heard you say a bad word to or about anyone, and I’ve never heard anyone say a bad word to or about you. Never change.” […]
For most of my life, I had a hard time telling the truth.
It’s ironic because my name (Allison) means “little truthful one” but truth just never came that easily to me. Instead, my imagination would run wild with fascinating details and exaggerated facts that always seemed more interesting to me than the real ones. By the time I was in high school my parents would jokingly say they should have thought of a name that meant “little bender-of-the-truth”.
A friend of mine recently spent a few days in the hospital.
He’s fine now, but a few weeks ago he just started feeling dizzy out of nowhere, and kind of weird like he couldn’t see straight. He tried to shrug it off like it was no big deal, and kept working, but within a few hours he was getting worse. Finally, by that night, he asked his wife to drive him to the hospital.
He told me later he actually thought […]
I used to think I was a generous person. Then, I met my husband.
At our wedding, his best friend pulled me aside and told me a few things he thought I should know about Darrell before we were married. One of them was, “He will give anything to anyone. He’ll give the shirt off his back. He is the most generous person you will ever meet.”
Sure enough, in our first […]
My life has been full of people who have treated me poorly. I’ve had bosses who expected too much and took advantage of my time and assumed I would work long hours beyond my pay. There have been boyfriends who gave very little and took far more than I ever wanted to give, and still had the nerve to act like it wasn’t enough. I’ve had friends who waltzed into my world, wrecked havoc, and then disappeared.
In fact, at certain times it has seemed like people did this to me on purpose — like I was some kind of target for those just waiting to inflict more hurt […]