The Power of Listening Without Judging

Donald Miller

I have a friend who happens to be a rockstar— a strange and confusing word. And yet my friend is one of the more stable people I know.

He doesn’t get down too much when things don’t go his way, and he doesn’t get all that excited when they do. He’s a terrific listener, too, and wants to know more about you than he wants you to know about himself. In a culture that praises fame, my friend hardly notices.

He seems to see music as a service he offers, no different than a waiter bringing more water. He doesn’t think too much or too little of himself. And for the first few years I knew him, I just assumed he was one of those rare people who was given a heaping supply of wisdom and humility, and I think there might be some truth to that. But recently, I met one of the main reasons my friend is so emotionally stable and capable. I met his father.

What Your Gut Feeling Is Actually Telling You

Donald Miller

I make a lot of decisions using intuition, which researchers are beginning to understand as more reliable and less mystical than previously thought. Intuition is really about pattern recognition, about subconsciously picking up on conflicting patterns in a situation. One of the more discussed examples of intuitive decision making has to do with a fire chief who, shortly after entering a burning house, commanded all his men leave the house immediately without really understanding why.

How to Spot A Controlling Person (Even If It’s You)

Donald Miller

If you’d have told me a month ago I had codependent tendencies, I’d never have believed you.

I don’t like it when people try to control me (especially indirectly through manipulation) and I’d have sworn I don’t do a thing to try to control others. But it turns out that isn’t true. For all I know, I might even be manipulating you right now. Raise your hand if you think I’m trying to control you. (I see that hand. Now put it down. Now scratch your nose.)

Want to Make Better Decisions? Here’s a Mental Trick

Donald Miller

HERE’S THE MENTAL TRICK: To make better decisions, imagine your life one year from now. From that perspective, look back on where you are now and think about how you wish you would have handled your current situation.

I was talking with a friend recently who was going through a tough breakup. He was angry, to be honest, because his girlfriend hadn’t been faithful.

Why Sometimes The Best Thing to Do With Relationships is Let Them Go

Donald Miller

Recently I’ve been giving a lecture about how we will become like the people we hang out with. It’s true. In five years, you’ll become a conglomerate of the people you spend the most time with. In fact, if I wanted to know who you were going to be five years from now, I’d not ask what you do, what education you have, what you eat or whether you exercise, though all those things have an impact. Instead, I’d want to spend a little time with the folks you spend time with. That alone would tell me who you were going to become […]

What Are the 3 Things You Want to Finish This Year?

Donald Miller

Most people I know who aren’t having much of an impact in the world suffer from one of two problems. Either they don’t know what they want to do or they are trying to do too much. I’ve never really had trouble knowing what I’ve wanted to do, but I’ve had tons of trouble trying to do too much. And this is a problem.

Why You Can’t Be Friends with That Guy

Donald Miller

I’m continuing my series called Start Life Over today. The series is about the real way people change. People don’t change by believing in hokey formulas; they change because they experience and understand serious, foundational paradigm shifts. If you want to download the entire series in which I explain these shifts in a PDF, just […]

Starting Life Over Means Learning When to Quit

Donald Miller

If you don’t have today off, you’re likely bored at work. Certainly not all of you, but studies show more than 50% of Americans are not inspired by their jobs. This really stinks. All that college tuition, all those hours searching and hoping for a job that fulfills us have come to this. Boredom.

You Are in a Relationship with Yourself; Make It a Healthy One

Donald Miller

I’m in a relationship with myself. I know that sounds a little odd, but if you think about it, we really do operate like two people. We are a person who lives and breathes and does things, then we are another person who judges ourselves. It’s as though we have a critic in our brain.

Why Refusing to Change is Killing You

Donald Miller

Today begins my series called Start Life Over. In the series, I’ll talk about 5 things necessary to re-start our lives. The hope is that, together, we can have the most meaningful year we’ve ever had.

Start Life Over, Reminder

Donald Miller

Just a reminder that my blog series Start Life Over begins on Friday. I hope you take the time to read it and reflect on the ideas each day. Each of the ideas were monumental in helping me make serious changes and experience a completely different life than I had only a few years ago.