I recently read an article about a hostage negotiator that has significantly changed the way I interact with people. Specifically, I’ve become a much better listener and it now matters less to me that I talk or am even heard in casual conversations.
Back when I was hanging out at Reed College, I was pleased to be in an environment where truth mattered more than ego, or rather where people didn’t associate their identity with their ideas. What I mean is, finding truth was more important than being right. And because finding truth was more important than being right, students were able to learn.
At Reed, discussing a philosophical or even scientific idea around a conference table did not look like a debate. Rather, it looked like a group of students attempting to put together a jig-saw puzzle. If a piece didn’t happen to fit, that was par for the course. You simply set it aside and worked together to make progress.
The older I get, the more I appreciate pain. I’m not a masochist by any stretch because I don’t like pain any more than the average person. And yet I’ve come to appreciate it.
In years past, when I’d go through a hard time, I’d run from it. I’d try not to feel it or deal with it. But these days, I’ve learned the only way life can actually get better is if I face reality, face my mistakes and liabilities and somehow correct or at least acknowledge them.
The title of “perfectionist” never seemed to fit me. Perfection would be hands free mama, and I’m looking at my phone all the time. Perfection would be a size 6, and ahem, I’m not. Perfection would be artistic, and I feel like I limp through the creative field on a wing and a prayer. Perfection […]